Pilgrim’s Keyboard

January 6, 2010

DYING –

Filed under: Hopefully Humorous — pilgrimskeyboard @ 8:52 pm

Dying
 
During an impassioned sermon on death and facing judgment, the
visiting evangelist said forcefully, “every member of this church is
going to die and face judgment.”  Early on in the sermon he noticed a
gentleman smiling on the front row.
 
The minister kept pushing his theme, “Every member of this church is
going to die.”  The guy smiled even more while everyone else in the
congregation had a very somber look.  In an effort to get through to
the guy, the preacher repeated it several more times forcefully, “EACH
MEMBER OF THIS CHURCH IS GOING TO DIE.”
 
Each time the phrase was repeated, the man smiled more.  This really
got the preacher wound up and he preached even harder.  The man still
smiled.  The preacher finally walked down off the platform to stand
just in front of the smiling man and shouted, “I SAID EACH MEMBER OF
THIS CHURCH IS GOING TO DIE.”
 
At the end of the service the man was smiling from ear to ear. While
everyone else was looking pretty grim from the prospect of entering
eternity, the man seemed quite happy.  After the service the preacher
jumped down off the platform and worked through the crowd to find the
man.  Pulling him aside, the preacher said, “I don’t get it. Every
time I said, ‘Every member of this church is going to die,’ you were
laughing.  I want to know why you did that?”
 
The man looked the preacher square in the eye and said confidently,
“I’m not a member of this church.”  |  (James Merritt)

ba

January 23, 2009

Problem Solved …

Filed under: Hopefully Humorous — pilgrimskeyboard @ 12:44 am

Oh my! This is a great quote!

The problem with America is stupidity.
I’m not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

My lovely fiery side-kick Cindy sent this to me.
It just had to be posted.

Bruce

December 20, 2008

A note & then onto – Problem Solved …

Filed under: Hopefully Humorous — pilgrimskeyboard @ 2:35 am

Just a quick note. My fiery-side-kick and I are going on a road trip. We are going to see our granddaughters. Meah in Kansas and Amber & Ashley in Kentucky (of course we will see all the grown up kids [all four] and their familes too). But until we return back here to coastal Georgia this site will take a rest. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Bruce & Cindy  

Problem Solved …

Oh my! This is a great quote!

The problem with America is stupidity.
I’m not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

My lovely fiery side-kick Cindy sent this to me.
It just had to be posted.

Bruce

December 19, 2008

Family Lineage …

Filed under: Hopefully Humorous — pilgrimskeyboard @ 3:41 am

Received this cute email – I hope it makes you smile.

A little girl asked her mother, ‘How did the human race appear?’

The mother answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.’

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, ‘Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.’

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, ‘Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?’

The mother answered, ‘Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.’

ba

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